My thoughts on the 4B Movement: is it really that extreme?
I heard about the 4B Movement kinda recently, when I saw Julie Jo’s video reacting to Girl Defined in May 2025. When Julie Jo talked about it, I didn’t really think it was that extreme. Honestly? I actually thought it was a natural response to the world we live in.
With morality that changes way too slowly, and with ethics that honestly take several steps back in time right now, I don’t see why I should engage with cismen that are right-wing. And even with leftist men, I don’t see why I should take it any further than a platonic friendship. Men don’t do enough for equality, so why date them?
And sure, I’m queer and in a relationship with a transman. I get it, you cannot choose your sexual orientation. But since so many women and nonbinary people are bisexual, I actually can understand choosing not to date men at this point.
But wait… What is the 4B movement?
The Four “Bi”s (No’s) in the 4B Movement
Originating in South Korea, it was developed from the 4 “bi”, in Korean, meaning “no”.
- Bihon: No marriage.
- Bichulsan: No childbirth.
- Biyeonae: No dating.
- Bisekseu: No heterosexual sex.
It was developed because of the patriarchal structures in society, and women simply have had enough now.
And I understand that! I’m a person assigned female at birth. I’ve lived through oppression and been hurt by men and by society, just because I’m female and not male. I didn’t even get diagnosed correctly with autism, which affected my entire childhood negatively, just because I was a woman!
Why it’s easy for me to follow the 4B Movement
But sure, I realize it’s easy for me because I:
- Want a marriage with my partner who is not a cisman.
- I don’t want to give birth to children. It scares me just to think about it.
- I don’t want to date cismen (or really anyone) since I’m already in a happy and loving relationship.
- I most certainly don’t want heterosexual sex, haha!
So I see the nuance, of course. If you’re a heterosexual ciswoman who wants to bear children, and it’s your dream to have that family… You’re valid, but I kinda feel sorry for you (unless you’re right-wing).
Why don’t I think this is really that extreme?
But as I stated, I don’t think the movement is extreme when thinking of the extreme world we live in. Isn’t it more extreme to… start wars? Which is a thing mainly men do? Or to… murdering women just because of their gender? Men also get murdered, yes, but not because they are men, which is the most common explanation for why women die. Women get murdered just because they are women.
So to conclude, I understand that people are rightfully fed up with everything as it is now, and really always has been. I have been strangled and abused by two ex-partners, who were men. I have been mistreated by countless men in my life. I’ve seen firsthand what some men can do.
I’m not willing to sacrifice my safety for new male friendships right now. It’s just the way it is.
xx
Trix